Day 3 Fert Report and Embryo Transfer

So today I got up bright and early, very eager to meet my embabies! I was called inot Dr G's office and he proceeded to tell me how they were doing:

1 - Looking good - 8 cells
2 - Not looking good - 8 cells, but genetic abnormalities (wtf??)
3 - Not looking good - 7 cells, but genetic abnormalities (again, wtf??)
4 - Stopped growing
5 - Not looking good - 7 cells, but lots of fragmentation
6 - Not looking good - 6 cells, but genetic abnormalities (and again, wtf??)
7 - Looking good - 9 cells

I looked at Dr G dumbfounded, who saw my face and quickly said that we at least have two good embies to transfer. I then asked if there were any good enough to freeze (why I asked after hearing the results, I dont know) and he said 'no, unfortunaltely'. I burst into tears. He took my hand and said, 'lets not focus on the back up plan gone wrong, lets focus on the 2 beautiful embies that we are going to put back inside you for now'

I went downstairs to the theatre to prepare for Embryo Transfer and I could not stop the tears from falling down my face. I tried to stop crying, and was managing ok until I went into theatre.
Everything was fine up until the point where Dr G told me that he was now transferring the embryo's. I started crying again. I am not sure why.

So now I have to embryo's inside me, and I am feeling pretty drained.

The genetic abnormalities has bothered me. Is it me causing the abnormalities? I shouldnt think it would be the sperm.

So this is it. If this fails, it's over. For good. Yesterday I was convinced I had a back up plan. I have no back up plan anymore.

I know I am supposed to be positive, but I dont know how to be. Please help. Right now I am an emotional mess