When Family Attack Their Own

That's what happened to me on Friday morning. My dad and brother met me for an early breakfast, to discuss my TTC situation. I was excited as they both initially said they were going to support me in my journey, so I assumed that they just wanted an update of where I was etc etc.

Not so. I dont want to get into the whole thing, but they attacked me from the moment we sat down. They have a moral issue with the whole situation - the fact that I am using a donor and planning to be a single parent. And basically said that they will cut ties with me if I go ahead with this.

How can they do that? I am shocked, speechless, sad. They were really harsh with me. I was crying constantly in the restaurant, and eventually they got up and walked out and just left me there. I feel as though a piece of me has died.

I dont understand how they could have just turned on me like that. They were prepared to support me a few weeks ago. What changed their mind?

Now, they basically have told me to choose between wanting a child or having them.

Have any of you been through a situation like this? Do you have any advice for me? Because right now it feels as though I should let my baby dreams go, and that is killing me inside

My Little Confession...

For those of you that dont know, I like to knit to relax!!! Ok, you can stop laughing now!

Anyway, I cant really knit much, but I do knit squares for a lady who collects squares, and then gives all the squares to a couple of women you sew them up into lovely blankets.

The blankets are then distributed to various homes and people who are less fortunate. I like to think that it is my bit for charity.

Anyway, I handed in my squares a few months ago, and last Saterday, we were all invited to come view the complete made up blankets and watch a few blankets being handed out to a home for teenage girls who have been abused.

They were so grateful, it made my so sad. They each recieved a blanket and a scarf. We tend to take so much for granted!

Well, here are two of my blankets that I personally made:

The purple one is mine:

Stupid Americans! (Dont read if you dont want to know who the winner is!!!)

Uuuurgh! I am so angry that Kris has won American Idols! He really doesnt deserve the title! America were voting on looks, because Adam was vocally the strongest (and the hottest in my opinion, but anyway.....) America, were you to scared to vote for someone who's sexuality isnt clear? Get with the times!!

I know Adam will still go far and will have a better future than Kris, but he deserved the title.

Adam, you are going to be a huge success, and I will always be a fan!

Cant wait for your first cd!!!!!

Dear Mom

Dear Mom,

11 Years ago today you left us. Not because you wanted to, but because God wanted you to be with Him in heaven.
The cancer eventually destroyed all your organs, but your heart stayed strong. Even though the cancer had spread throughout your body and eventually to your brain, you still believed you were going to win this battle. We all did.

Dad visited you the last time on the 18th May, long after my brother and I were asleep. He told you that it was ok for you to go. He would look after us and the three of would be fine. You passed away a couple of hours later, in the early hours of the 19th.

I miss you mom. I miss you so much. I wish our relationship wasnt so volatile, and that we spent more time together. The guilt still eats away at me.

I wish that you were still around to help me through my infertility journey. You would have understood. You were infertile too.
I wish God gave us more time with you.

It's been 11 years, but it feels like you passed away just yesterday. And it doesn't get easier. You just learn to cope better

x x x

My blogroll

My blog feed thingie doesnt always update me. Why? I havent had an update from Marthie's or Jahni's blog for weeks, and I know they post daily. Why?

By the way, I know who is in the final 2 of American Idols! I wont say who, but will say:


YYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEE HHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm In Love!!!!

Ok, so more of a school girl crush!!! But come on ladies, he is HOT!!!! For those of you who are a bit out of the loop, this is Adam Lambert, currently a contestant on American Idols, and everyone knows he is going to win, because his voice is freaking fantastic!!!

I posted his pics on the forum, but sadly the girls there dont have good taste. I mean, what is there not to like about this beautiful boy?

I am telling you all now, he is going to go far! So learn this name: ADAM LAMBERT, cause you are going to hear a lot more of him!!!!

And, I dont care about the gay rumours! Doesnt mean I cant perve!
It's my blog and I can perve if I want to!

Happy Mothers Day Mom

Although you are no longer on this earth, and I am unable to spend this special day with you in person, I want you to know that I am thinking of you so much today.
I hope you had a nice day today

x x x

For Mandri

I know that today is the day that your babies should have turned a year old. And I know that your heart is breaking. How much, I will never know, but I am sad for you and DH. You have been on my mind the whole day.

They are with God. He is looking after them, and they are looking down on you.

I'm sure the angels threw a lovely party for them, and they played in the clouds.

It's not easy, and we will never understand why it happens.