What Would You Do?

I saw a question posted on the 'other forum' and thought it was quite an interesting one. It got me thinking:

Deciding on my donor: would you choose a donor who has already had a positive pregnancy or one that hasnt? Having a positive pregnancy means that there are half siblings running around the country, but it also means that the sperm can make a baby!
Selecting a donor that hasnt yet achieved a pregnany - could his sperm perhaps not make a baby, even though his count and motility is high? Is he still fairly new on the program and no one has used him? Could it be the woman using his sperm currently that is battling to make the baby?

What would you do? This is an important decision for me!

Need To Snap Out Of It

Oh my goodness! What the hell has happened to me? For the past 2 days I have been so depressed, and I mean DEPRESSED!!!!!

I have no idea why. The only thing I can think of is that it is the Minulette that I have started taking. But then I dont remember birth control ever making me feel down.

I need to stop this! How do I get out of it? I cant do my IVF feeling like this

And We're Off! Well, Sort Of...

So yesterday I went for my Day 2 scan. Everything looked fine and so I was given the go ahead to start my BCP's. Got a little excited up unitl the sister told me that I need to start my Lucrin on the 13th August! Um, excuse me???? I thought all meds were only in September?! I left VL terrified! I think it was the fact that I just assumed all meds were going to be next month, and not so soon! All of a sudden, this is beginning to feel very real, and that scares the crap out of me!

Anyway, my diet seems to be ok so far. Yesterday I drank 2.5l of water (insert applause).

Breakfast: Muesli (which prceeded to give me cramps for the rest of the day! Forgot that my colon doesnt cope with seedy stuff!)

Snack: Raw unsalted almonds (Multiply cramps by 100)

Lunch: Beef salad with no salad dressing

Snack: Naartjie

Supper: Chicken stew (taken off the low GI diet website!)

Oh, and 1 cup of coffee, 1 decaf and 2 tea's (insert staduim cheer and applause, as I normally have about 6 cups of decaf and 3 teas per day, at least!)

Today will be:

Breakfast: NO MUESLI!!!!! Provita's with cheese

Snack: Strawberry yoghurt - low fat

Lunch: Poached eggs on wholewheat toast

Snack: Banana

Supper: Rosemary and lemon hake bake

Edited: To submit my lunch and supper

Look What I Made :)

As most of you know, my work sponsors a home where they look after children that are infected or affected by HIV. There are only 12 children in the home, and they are the sweetest children ever! Their ages range from 3 years - 10 years. Looking after the home falls under my department (which consist of a whole two people.) We throw them birthday parties; we fix up the home and get staff volunteers to assist us with this. We organise fundraisers etc. It's part of our CSI (Corporate Social Initiatives). We also assist with other charities, but this home is our main priority. We want to play a part in these children's lives and make a real difference. We will see them through school as well.

Anyway, most of you also know that I like to knit (laugh later, this is for a good cause!!!!!) So while I have spent the time recovering at home from my lap, I decided to knit each child a scarf. And these are the results:

For the girls:






For the boys:



All packed, labelled and ready to be handed to them:

Getting Ready

I had my post op appointment today with Dr J. It was stage 2 endo that was removed from my uterus, bladder ovary and inside my ovary. He also removed some scarring and showed me a picture of what a health ovary looks like, and what mine looked like. BIG difference!
Anyway, the plan is to start my IVF ASAP. So, on my next day 2 (which should be early next week) I go for my scan, FSH test and get put on BCP's for a month. After that I start the meds.

Now, I want to get healthy for my procedure. Nix, I know you were going to email me a diet plan. I dont know if I have it or not, as I havent checked my work emails since last week Monday. Will do so on Friday as I am back at work then.

I need to get a simple exercise routine. Something that I can do in the comfort of my lounge and that doesnt require jumping ( I have a low roof) Also, something that doesnt take too long - I HATE exercising!!

I need to get some very simple healthy recipes. I want to avoid carbohydrates at night as carbs spike your insulin level, and that causes poor egg quality.

I need to drink more water. I would like to drink 2L a day.

My biggest issue is breakfast. I leave home at 6:30 in the morning (waaaaay to early for me to eat!) and at work they only have long life milk, which I am not too fond of, so I am not too sure what to eat for breakfast. Any ideas? I dont want to eat a fruit for breakfast, as I will have fruit during the day to snack on.

So, can anyone help me out here? I need to get this right!! If my IVF fails, I dont want to look back and think "if only I ate correctly, I would have increased my chances" etc

Erm....

Ok, I havent updated my blog in a while, but seriously, I have nothing to write about! How sad is that?

My stitches are out. I had very bad back pain which I thought was my right kidney, but if I had actually stayed awake in biology class, I would have known that my kidney sits a lot higher than i thought! Anyway, turns out that the Linwood staff thought I was made out of elastic, as they contorted and pulled my body in some odd position, and pulled a joint in my lower back! Nothing that a little Cataflam cant fix though!

I am working from home this week as my boss is away on conference. So that is quite nice.
Going for my follow up appointment with Dr J tomorrow. Hopefully I can start with the BCP's soon.

Um, what else? Enjoyed Army wives and Private Practice last night. My friend bought me Boston Legal Season 4, so I have been watching that during the day.

That's about all. Told you there was nothing to write about!

Lap Over!

Well, I survived the op (hehe) and am now sitting at home with the yucky shoulder pain! Strange, when I left the hospital I had no pain in my shoulders, but it has hit me in full force now!

Let me just say that the staff at Linkwood Hospital are revolting! None of those nurses actually know what they are doing! When I dressed into my gown, the one nurse told me to take my socks off. But the other nurses were telling their patients that they can leave their socks on. Then, I asked 2 nurses when I would pay the anaesthetist and neither could tell me. I then asked what I must do with my bag that had my clothes in. "Mmm, I am not too sure". And when I woke up after the op, I asked for some water and the nurse said no, I am not allowed yet, but the operating sister was giving all the other patients who had just woken up some water. Grrrrrrr!!!

But, I must actually take back what I have said before about Dr.V. (oh, let me track back and mention that I found out this morning that Dr. J would not be doing my surgery as he no longer operates. I was then devasted to hear that Dr. V was going to do it. My previous encounter with him wasnt great and I left with a sour taste in my mouth). He was really nice to me and I found his bedside manner excellent.

He said that he removed stage 1 endo (I am glad that it was still in the early stages). He cut the endo out. My previous FS's lasered them , but Dr V said that he doesnt believe in that. He also removed some small scarring from previous surgeries. He said my ovaries looked like prunes :(, which worried him. Apparently they look like ovaries of a 45 year old. He says I should do the IVF very soon, as it really isnt looking very good.
He also put in about a litre of liquid in my body to keep my organs floating while I heal, which means I have to sleep upright for the next 3 days! How am I possibly going to get comfortable??

Anyway, must have stitches out on Friday (which is reall soon for me. Normally I had them in for 7 days) I will also see Dr J in about two weeks to go through the surgery (they filmed the procedure)and then see where my fate lies!

Right now I am feeling a bit sorry for myself and a bit fragile :(

Thanks for all your wishes!

x x x

Almost Time

It's almost time for my lap. My 3rd lap! Although I know what to expect, I am still quite nervous, and getting more nervous as the time draws nearer.

I am hoping this op wont be to hectic. Last October I had my second lap and it turned into quite a major surgery. Not only had I stage 3 endo (the previous year it was stage 2) but it was stuck to the back of my left ovary. My then FS had to actuallu unattch my ovary, clean the endo off the ovary and on the uterus wall, and then temporarily stitch my ovary up and after 2 weeks, the stiches would dissolve and the ovary would then fall back into place. I think that procedure was called ovarian sysectmomy (excuse my spelling)

Anyway, so I really hope this one will be less intense!

I am trying to make a list of things I need to buy for after the op, seeing as though I will be stuck in my place alone afterwards.

This is what I have on my list so far:

Pads
Post surgery plaster type stuff
And, well, that's all I can think of right now! I really should know what I need by now!

I was going to post a picture of endometriosis, but it looked a little gross!

Advice Please

Ok, so my day was pretty much ok, until I got home from work. I suddenly just went into complete panic and started freaking out and crying uncontrollably! I dont know what set it off, but I started panicking about my job. I dont want to stay in this particular job for the rest of my career, not earning enough (which then set me off with how am I able to raise a child when I cant support myself - but lets not get into that now, as I am about to freak out again!)

The problem is, is that I am not really qualified for any corporate job, so how am I ever going to move up in my career? I got a diploma in Musical Theatre - singing, dancing and acting. And that is what a did until I started TTC'ing. A job presented itself and I took it. Salary? Really crap - one up from entry level. I cant do this for much longer.

How am I ever going to sort this out? Basically my job is assisting my boss, who's position was created because he was promoted to another position and drowned. They didnt want to lose him, so they created the position "Special Projects Manager". And I assist him. Our job entails all sorts. We basically do all our other departments once off projects that they dont really have time to focus on, such as, fun projects for our staff (we work in a casino and have 1400 staff) Re designing new uniforms. New access control. CSI - corporate social investments (looking after our charities) etc etc.
So what work can I actually apply for, and who will employ someone (needing an income of more than what I am earning now) that isnt actually qualified in anything?
I have taught myself a little about Photoshop and I can edit music and do very basic video editing - once again, self taught, no diploma or degree.

I really need help please. I cant see myself in this position earning this salary until I retire.
Do any of you have any contacts for me? (I will wait until after my IVF though, cause if I do get pregnant, I want to be covered for my maternity leave)

Life Without Grey's

How does one live without Grey's Anatomy? I mean, it is going to be at least 6 months until we see the next season!!! George dies - bummer! And I just read that it is still unclear if Izzie is going to live or not. Kathterine Heigel still doesnt know if she wants to officially leave the show.

T.R. Knight (George) got tired of his story line going nowhere (to be honest, he had major story lines in all the previous seasons, so how much more??)

Anyway, I have started watching Grey's from the beginning again (sad, I know!)

Ok, Scrap All The Positivity! I'm Pissed Off!!

Looks like my fucking endo is back :( Went for a scan and FS can see grey spots on my ovaries - that's what my previous FS saw on the scan and, whoa, hello stage 3 endo!
Come on, it's been less than a year since my last op! I will now have had 3 laparoscopies in less than 3 years

Lap scheduled for 14th July

I just want to cry