Thursday, April 23, 2009

The Waiting Game

I want to be pregnant now! I want my child. Is this too much to ask? I'm tired of playing the waiting game. I am tired of imagining the child I am going to have "one day".

Everyone tells me that it will happen "in Gods time". Well, when is that? Can He give me a sign? I feel as though He is playing a cruel and sick joke on me.

I cant take this anymore. I am tired of always being positive and happy for everyone else who gets their BFP's. I am tired of looking at pics of pregnant bellies. Yes, I am jealous. Not just a bit. A LOT. I will admit it!

I must look like such an idiot when I walk through the baby section in Edgars. "When I am pregnant, I want to buy this camper cot, and this sleigh cot, and this stroller etc etc" I am living in fantasy land.

I am sorry if I have offended anyone. I just want to be pregnant now

5 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry Eve! You are such an amazing woman and really deserve this so much! I will keep on praying for you...

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  2. Sorry you feel this way ... I'm not going to tell you to relax or that it will come in God's time, cause I know how frustrating it is when everyone else falls pregnant and you question your fertility over and over again ...

    chin up and lots of love

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  3. Life can be so unfair, it really can. You are allowed to feel the way you do! Really praying the next time is your time!!!

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  4. You are entitled to feel this way! It seems so unfair that some people have it so easy and others have to struggle so much.

    My heart goes out to you.

    In my thoughts.
    Nix
    XOXOXO

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  5. Oh Eve, I can so relate, because I am feeling the same. It's these feelings that make you feel so guilty once you become pregnant because you know exactly what the other infertiles are feeling. I guess there is no way around it. We just need to work through our feelings and hope that we can conquer them. I will be praying for you for a BFP very day until it happens. You deserve it.

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